I asked a friend to give me a topic to write about, and they gave me a topic I feel is most definitely worth writing about. The topic? New Relationships and Expectations. Now we all know that when we meet new people there is the chance we will get along or not. Be it New siblings in an ever expanding family, new acquaintances we make at school or work that could turn into friendship, a steady meaningful relationship, or even the beginnings of a polyamorous relationship.
With all new relationships, we all harbor some form of pretense for how we hope and want the relationship to be like and what direction it will go in. Some relationships can be more flexible than others, to be sure. What one must keep in mind when considering their expectations in a new relationship, however the relationship formed, is that their expectations may very well not be met. Example of such an instance would be going to lunch with a fellow co-worker for the first time and having experienced a very pleasant working relationship, you might expect a certain sense of familiar comfort. However the experience might sour if they turn out to be racist, a bigot, of a religion you are against vehemently, or are perhaps narrow minded.
Another example would be my relationship with my husband prior to our marriage. Before we had started dating he had invited me to spend time together, to hang out. There were no indications that he wanted anything more than friendship, and as strange for some as it may sound, I was absolutely shy as shy could get when in his presence. When we had chatted about meeting up I was so excited about the prospect that I told him I would run up to him and leap at him then embrace him. A silly foolish and childish thing, but to me it meant the world and was really the only way I could think to convey how elated I was. Sadly, the rest of the night I could not being myself to snap out of the stupefying shyness that usually overcame me when around him and the rest of the night there were no advances on his end to show any form of intent, so I thought he had no interest and me being so shy I wasn’t able to broach the subject. If it hadn’t been for him going out for drinks with his friends some nights later and texting me that he had feelings for me, I don’t know that we would be in the blissfully happy marriage we have now.
With different forms of relationships come different expectations. The issue with all these different expectations and different types of relationships is that there are too many quantifiers, too many possibilities for compatibility and absolute discord. There is the potential for everlasting beautiful relationships like two people who are the best of friends until the day they die, so much so that they might even be confused for being part of a closely knit family. Then there are the possibilities for beautiful and bountiful endless love between people that is a marvel of its magnificence.
The problem we as a society face is an inability to express ourselves and our intentions or expectations of any given interaction with other people. Myself being a prime example considering I was far too shy to assert myself in one of the few occasions that really mattered. In closing, I would like to leave you with these thoughts : Be bold when you are too afraid to show your true colors, when you find something absolutely wonderful, don’t let it slip through your grasp. I nearly had this happen to me, and I count my lucky stars every day I wake up next to him and every night when I lay down that I have my husband.