What Is It All For?

I often find myself wondering why it is we do what we do. Why do we thrive to survive, why do we live in even when we hit times of strife? What purpose could there be in living if life can be so filled with misery? Is there a reason for the world to keep going on even after we experience horrid trauma? The amazing thing is, these questions have answers. Shocking, right? It is true though, and if you keep reading, I’ll tell you a little bit about how to find the answers for yourself.


For those who follow my blog, you may have noticed a throng of poetry flying around and hitting you in the notifications and email. Some of it is kind of insanely dark, like to the point it actually scared my high school teacher so bad she had me see a school apointed psychologist and got me diagnosed as manic depressive/borderline suicidal. Wow that was one heck of a trip. The only reason I even showed it to her was to get out of having to read other people’s poetry in language arts and literature class as part of the “Poetry and Prose” section of the learning curriculum. As we all grow from infants to toddlers, then blossom into the budding years of kidhood and then preteenish years, life is kind of a blast. It is all kind of chaotic but fun as heck. Not a care in the world, or as many call it, carefree. Same difference.


What we are unprepared for though is those dratted preteen years that turn from drawl to hell when we transition into full blown teenagers. Oh my goodness the teenage angst is unimaginable. Sure we all go through it to reach adulthood, but even I can’t remember just what compelled me to be a lying conniving pain in the rear end to the one person who loved me more than she wanted air so she could breathe. 


All the pain and suffering we experienced as kids seem as though they were a million times worse than the real experience when we become teens. The teenage angst and all the lying and low down dirty behavior are, according to science and popular studies, normal because of chemical imbalances. Our parents deal with it because they know that they went through the same thing, they just hope and pray to whatever they believe in that you don’t make the same mistakes they did. Which you will. Often. Just go with it and make sure when you snap out of it that you apologize. You were a real jerk and they deserve to hear you be humble after acting like such a superior know it all.


During my teen angst I explored things a lot. I don’t mean I was promiscuous or anything, surprisingly my teen years made me want to find someone worth being with the rest of my life, not just for a fling. I mean exploring the reasons and purpose behind why we do what we do. My view was slightly skewed because I was a teen but after becoming a parent, it has become slightly more clear to me. 


We live because it is the most amazing thing we can do. Our life is like a giant amazing story book, especially for those who take the time to write stuff down. The experiences we have during our lives gives us purpose. An example of purpose for me is I went through a lot, more than some good friends even know about. I think the only people that really know in depth what I went through is my mother and my husband. My poetry is a reflection of some of the things I went through, for my teen years poetry was my soul. It mirrored my emotions and my thoughts on things, and I would say close to 99% of it was probably dark. 


There is a reason I have been posting it though. Yes, even my poetry postings have purpose. You see, I know that there are people out there who are experiencing the unholy hell that is life as a teenager. Shocking, right? There are people right now going through the throws of emotional and mental turmoil and they don’t feel as though anyone understands or could ever comprehend just how they feel. I post my poetry so they know that isn’t true. We’ve all been there, we have felt the powerlessness caused by teenage hormones that make you absolutely insane. 


More importantly, it does stop. Your hormones will level out. I promise you, you will be happy again. Then you will go through this same situation with your own kids one day. What I want you to keep in mind is how you feel right now. How you just want someone to be able to identify with. Remember that, because one day you’ll be your parents wondering where you went wrong with your wild and out of control teen. Let them know they aren’t alone. Force them into a hug, it always worked for my mom. May have made me cry, but it was worth it.



If you have anything you would like to add, feel free to comment in the comments section. Be anonymous if you want, but every experience counts and they all matter.

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