The transformation I took on from being an uppity self-absorbed teenager to being a functioning adult is sort of strange. I don’t think I even realized it was happening until suddenly I woke up and realized I’d become a responsible adult who put the needs of others before myself. I’d grown up being raised by a woman who constantly put my sister and I before herself, but instead of learning from her, I was too self-involved and took advantage of my mothers love and kindness. I’m not sure if everyone does that, but I know I sure as heck was guilty of it.
I remember hearing my mom working tirelessly, and one day I heard her saying, I think to herself but it could have been over the phone to someone, that she hopes that my sister and I would learn to become more responsible. It wasn’t that she thought we were completely irresponsible, after all, she trusted us to be able to take care of ourselves when outside and all. It was more, at least I personally think, that she wanted us to wise up and see that there was a whole wide world full of other people. It took me a lot longer than I personally feel it should have for me to be more conscientious of others.
It wasn’t until after I had my son that I started seeing that I had to become an actual adult. I had to learn to work a job, take care of my son, and make sure I was taken care of too. On top of that, while I was working, all my extra money ended up going to my son’s father’s mother, because and I quote, “You live here so you owe me.” Which wasn’t by choice, mind you. The woman was like the devil, she treated me like Cinderella’s evil step mother treated her! I had to clean the bathroom with bleach once a week, while pregnant. Didn’t care that the chemicals made me nauseous, or that I started having eczema flair ups that lasted for months, or that the prolonged exposure ended up making me allergic to bleach. On top of that, she made me do the dishes, stay at home when she would take my at the time fiance to the store or the library, or any place she knew I liked. I was expected to clean not just my own messes, but hers as well as my at the time fiance’s, and anyone else who was living there or visiting at that time.
Once I was finally free of them and their ever encompassing slavery, I realized I was much better off on my own. I had learned from my mom how to take care of myself, I simply hadn’t ever applied it when on my own, and I knew that it was about high time. I woke up one day, my gradual transformation into an actual adult complete. It was almost like how a caterpillar eventually nibbles a hole in its chrysalis, coming out to be a beautiful butterfly. I found myself taking care of the house work, getting everything done and doing all the financials while managing to watch my two girls grow into beautiful little toddlers. I know my adventure into adulthood is far from over, but I’d like to think that my transformation from being a once whiny self-absorbed rude and at times manner-less teen to an actually rather responsible adult, mother, wife, and daughter is exactly what I needed. Without it, I doubt I’d have the beautiful and happy family I have now.