Awash With Ponderance

Lately since the death of my Aunt and the funeral procession and so on and so forth and all that dreary bleak darkness that comes with things revolving around death, my mind has been as dry for ideas of what to write as the Sahara Desert. It’s almost as if my brain cannot fully function properly since she passed away, I keep trying to think of what to say or what to write and my mind just draws a blank. Not entirely sure if that’s a good or a bad thing, considering how a lot of my writing is either overly opinionated snark or filled to the brim with high morals that make others shrink away in fear of appearing like some insignificant speck in the world that isn’t worthy.


Now I’ve had some ideas, but it’s more of a glass half full kind of deal. I’ll get the spark, but there is no ignition for the fire to burn. Once I can manage to get my brain functioning at full capacity though, I’m sure I’ll of forgotten what the ideas were. I went so far as to write them down, but I am quite positive that I’ll forget where I wrote it at, even though the ideas are written down in half a dozen places around my home. People keep telling me I just need time to recoup, heal, regather myself after what happened, and that it could happen as early as tonight, tomorrow, or as late as next year. I certainly hope not, that’d be quite bothersome. I don’t like the idea of not being able to keep my own train of thought, just like I don’t like the idea of a glass half empty.


I did however recently manage to overcome my own cowardice. Thanks to a new game that I’m sure plenty of people have heard of, Pokemon Go!, I have actually met one of my neighbors in the area. We even live in the same complex! I’d seen her around a time or two, but being a shut-in like I am, and a homebody who doesn’t really care for too many people being in my inner circle, I’d never actually introduced myself. About two nights ago, while looking at my Pokemon Go! app, I saw there was a strange glowing purply pink pokestop with all kinds of confetti looking stuff flying around it! I was intrigued, and my husband helped push me out of my bubble by encouraging me to go look and see what it was and what it meant. It turns out, thanks to my husbands encouragement, one of my neighbors is a big giant nerd like me! She was sitting outside the pokestop and had used a thing called a lure which allows other players to come to that pokestop and get throngs of new pokemon to catch!


About ten to fifteen minutes later, she and I are exhanging numbers and talking about setting up a playdate for her kid and my two. Turns out, her kiddo is about the same age as Marie! So not only did I overcome my cowardice, I filled my glass with blatherings of many kinds and the desert that was my mind is for once clear. We actually just got done having a playdate with the kids and hopefully we’ll arrange another one soon. The girls actually played non-stop for two hours straight outside, with the help of sunscreen of course. They had a blast, and so did my neighbors girl. I look forward to more fun in the sun as this summer presses on.


10 thoughts on “Awash With Ponderance

  1. those tears you so badly want to avoid are what will eventually heal you and your uncle sweetie. Glad you met a decent neighbor and so glad the babies have a playmate. now do NOT dive while playing that game! lol (YES I KNOW….you don’t drive! silly girl!)

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