Love Lorn

After nearly 5 years of what I thought was the perfect marriage, we are approaching our fifth year anniversary. Every year my husband says we don’t have the money for a vacation, but that one year we will. He promises every time that next year will be better, that next anniversary we will do something fun or have an adventure. I keep wondering where all the money is going, he makes good money after all. Lately though, it seems as if he hasn’t even realized that our anniversary is approaching. Usually he starts asking me for ideas of what I would like to do or what sounds interesting. 

Our first year anniversary we went to an amusement park, he let me pick out all the rides we got on and encouraged me to try new rides that I never dreamed of getting on. We ate all kinds of tasty and exotic foods, and talked with some of the vendors. He even won me a giant pink panda in a test of strength. That night on the drive home, he played a mixed tape of all my favorite romance songs. When we arrived, the front door was open so he went in before me. Moments later he called me into the house and said to follow the path. I looked down and there was a path of rose petals. As I followed them, they led me up the stairs down the hall and through our room to the bathroom. The bathroom was dim, but as I stepped further in, I saw it was lit by candles with rose petals and bath beads in a nice warm bath. He lavished me with a nice relaxing soak, then a full body rub. My husband was ever so romantic and enjoyed doing sweet things like this for me.

For our second year anniversary, he took me to the fanciest restaurant in town and had bought me an elegant dress to match the occasion. He had requested the entire restaurant to ourselves with each table naked aside from a table cloth and a lit candle. Our table was in the center of the room with a rose in place of where the single candle should have been, with two candles on either side lit for lighting. There was one server and two cooks on staff that night, and for two whole hours we just sat across from one another, gazing lovingly into each others eyes as we ate our meal and talked.

On our third anniversary, he had made us a romantic home cooked picnic and took me to a beautiful garden where we ate our picnic surrounded by the most beautiful roses I had ever seen. After our picnic was over, he carried me to our car and drove us home. We had the most passionate night I can remember.

Last years anniversary was not quite as romantic, but still ever so sweet. He took me sight seeing as the sunset began to go into full swing, changing the sky’s colors and dazzling against the clouds. It was simple, and cheap, but something seemed off about it. Something about him was off, I should say. For a few months prior to our anniversary, he seemed to be making strange withdraws from the bank that made no sense, and he has continued making these unusual withdraws since.

You see, I’m worried now that my husband may be cheating on me, or off buying things for himself without even telling me. I don’t see why he would keep something like that secret from me, we both work and he knows when I make a special purchase for myself. I’ve tried asking my friends but neither of them seem to know anything either. They just keep telling me to trust my heart. My heart tells me he loves me, and that I love him. We’ve been like two peas in a pod since we first started dating back in our last year of highschool, but the past few months I’ve noticed he isn’t the same person anymore. It’s as if he has become distant. He has been working odd hours compared to usual, saying he has deadlines to meet. Whenever I bring up our upcoming anniversary, he quickly changes the topic of conversation or suddenly remembers some paperwork he has to finish at the office before business opens the next day.

I am so pained by the idea that after having been together for nearly a decade and married for almost half a decade that our marriage is falling apart. I can’t fault him for working, but I feel as though he should make time for me too. We do have an anniversary coming up, and the 5 year mark is supposed to be important to the both of us, isn’t it? My friends keep saying over and over that it’s nothing to worry about and that I should be happy to have such a devoted and down to earth husband. They say I should be happy we’re still together after having known each other so long, that it’s just the end of the honeymoon phase. Well I never got my honeymoon, it was straight back to work as soon as the wedding was over. It wasn’t even my dream wedding, even if I did marry my dream guy.

I know I love my husband still, but it just feels as though he doesn’t love me the same anymore. I must come up with a plan of action to really find out just what it is I mean to him, because I don’t think I can stay in a marriage if the love shared is one sided. A marriage is supposed to be both parts lovingly holding each other together, isn’t it? That was what we swore to do, till death do us part. I don’t know that I could live with myself if our marriage truly has become just a one-sided partnership.

 

 

The above is the beginning of a new story, which the idea was given to me by my dearest Mumzie. Many thanks to her for giving me the idea to make blossom into something new.

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27 thoughts on “Love Lorn

  1. O.M.G. I haven’t seen any of your posts in such a long time, I’d been wondering if you were ok. Then I read this and thought it was for real and got heartbroken. My relief was like a shot in the arm when I read it was just a story. Whew!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If I didn’t know you better I would have been totally angry with Allan! As it was I was rather frantically trying to find a rational reason for him to be pulling out money…surprise vacation funds, had to buy a cruise ticket that sort of thing. Dang woman! you really had me going!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wowie….so I was also among that bunch wondering if you were ok cos I didn’t see any post of urs showing up in the reader…n then I read this n you have no idea how happy I was when I figured out it was just a story…..man..It is so so convincingly written..can’t wait to read the rest of it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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