I grew up listening to all kinds of adults talking about just how much they enjoy the silence of not having their kids around during school hours or when their kids went to a friend’s house. I always worried that I would feel the same way as all these people, but my gravest fear was that my mom felt that way about my sister and I. Little did I know, mainly because I never asked, my mom loved having my sister and I around. Having us kids around was like the highlight of every day, even when we were being pains. Up until I had kids, I wondered how that could possibly be.
For some reason, I, much like my mother, hate when my kids aren’t around. Even if we are just in the same house together I’m fine. Granted I love when we have our cuddles and snuggles, I treasure when we play around the house and chase each other, or helping Marie with her reading. I just feel the silence of the house is deadening when they aren’t around me. I know they love their grandparents and I know eventually they have to go to school, but I cannot imagine what in the world I would do with myself aside from watch the clock and wait for them to come back to me.
Yes there are days where I fear I might want to beat a child because of how crazy they are driving me, just like any normal parent would, but I also know that as soon as they walk out the front door with their little hands waving goodbye to me, I’ll be at a total loss as to what to do. It happens every time grandma or grandpa come to take them for a visit to their house. The worst part is that no matter how crazy they may have driven me, I miss hearing their sweet voices and the pitter patter of their tiny feet across the floor. I actually saved a voicemail I missed from my mother in law of the girls talking on one of these occasions, which I listen to relentlessly when they’re away.
I just don’t see how parents could be happy with the silence, let alone wish for it. I guess I’ll never know.