I know, I’ve worn out the use of the word love for years to come but after a week like what I’ve been experiencing, I felt it was crucial to go over some of what it’s like to really, truly be in love. One of the reasons for this being that I’ve seen so many people come together that could do wonders for one another only to end up being each other’s downfall. An example would be a woman who has a child from a prior relationship, she finds a man who she falls in love with but he wants nothing to do with the child. I can tell you right now, that relationship will fail. Why on earth, you might ask? Once a woman has a kid, her and that child are officially a package deal. If you don’t like the kid, you can’t very well like the mom. That child didn’t ask to be born but it’s mother brought them here, they’re a part of her until they decide to move out once they’re an adult. Even then, mom will always look after their baby, it’s in our blood to do so.
For a follow-up example, a woman falls in love with a guy but later down the road acts and seems as though she cannot stand him meanwhile he is literally slaving away trying to provide for his family. If you can’t go a week without having an argument over something, then something is drastically wrong. I see destructive relationships like this constantly, boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, they get married and start a family. After 3 years of “married bliss” they act like two angry old crones who want nothing but death for the other. In some instances, one will still be madly in love with the other. For arguments sake, lets say in this scenario the man still loves his wife and does anything he can to please her. He hunts for a good job, works a standard 9-5 job, does his best to put food on the table and clean clothes on his families back. The woman however does nothing, lords over him as if she were the Queen and ought to have whatever she so desired, as if he wasn’t already doing his best to give her exactly that.
Sounds insane, right? No self respecting man would put up with that, right? Sorry, but it actually happens. You might be wondering, ‘Well how do you know, Shay?’ The answer to that question is because I see it, I have witnessed it myself with my own two eyes. It might be none of my business, but when it’s being acted out right there in front of me like some mid-day soap opera, it is kind of hard not to notice. We can agree to disagree on this point, you are free to have your opinion on whether I have a right to observe what is very well going on in front of my own two eyes or not. I’ll hold true to the fact that if it happens where I can see it, then I’m free to observe and nitpick it to death. Let me tell you, that’s what I do every night. When your significant other threatens to leave you more than 3 times in 1 year, I’d say it’s time to call it quits. Walk away and cut your losses, find someone who will love you, not walk all over you.
True passionate and unending unbridled love isn’t about oneself, it is about the person you love. It isn’t about how horrible your day has been, and even I forget that sometimes. Real love that will last forever is the kind of love that helps you up when you fall. It doesn’t pick you up, it guides you by helping you to get back on your feet. It supports and motivates you to meet your goals, even if they don’t think it’s a sensical goal. My husband and I have been together for 4 going on 5 years, we still consider one another to be our greatest crush. Sure we might drive one another bonkers from time to time, but what relationship doesn’t have its ups and downs? The goal is to work through the problems together. When I look in my husbands eyes, I see a passion deep within him that burns for me and only me. If hell existed, I’d gladly walk through hell if it meant I could bring a smile to his face. We’ve had our rocky moments, like during pregnancy or that beloved “time of the month”, but we come out of it as a team, our love for eachother intact.
Being in love with someone and committing yourself to them means you fight for one another, not necessarily as a prize to be won but to support eachother. That is where many relationships fail. They don’t put the effort into keeping the relationship strong, they don’t talk about the issues and instead let them fester and boil until it explodes into something ten times worse. The next time you think you’ve found someone to spend the rest of your life with, ask yourself one question. Are you willing to let them in and see the darkness within you, so they can help guide you to the light?
To my readers, I’d like to hear some of the stories that led you to know your significant other was the one for you. If you don’t want to openly share in the comments below, you can always message me on my Facebook page!