I woke up this morning shortly before 7:30am, a sensation of sweet loving warmth enveloping me as I started my morning routine. Considering I had tossed and turned until late into the morning, it was odd to me that I awoke in such a splendorous mood. I had somehow drifted off some time after 2am, a recurring migraine and upset stomach to boot. Yet I awoke in a love filled serenity. As I began getting ready for my day, brushing my teeth and getting the children ready to go down stairs for breakfast, a realization dawned on me. Two months from today will be the 5th year anniversary of when we started dating.
When I woke up, I saw my darling husband who has been working tirelessly for his family sleeping next to me. I couldn’t help but kiss him lightly as he seemed to be tossing in his sleep. I would do anything for my husband, as I know he would do anything for me. Even after nearly 5 years of living together, we are still very deeply in love. This is evident even though we rarely get to have time together, in many different ways. To this day, we still have thoughts hit us at the same time and we walk in tandem as though marching to a drum beat only we can hear.
When the girls and I traveled down the stairs and headed into the kitchen to make waffles, I saw that my tired and hard working beloved had done all the dishes for me. Just as he has done over the course of the past few days, getting cross with me if I do them myself because my ezyma has decided to rear its ugly head due to my negligence in using my hand cream. Even though I am the cause of my own grief, my husband comes to the rescue and saves me from myself, as so often he has done to make my life easier even though there is nothing I can truly do to ease his own troubles.
I wanted to originally write a post to all the millenials who think relationships are shit, that they will never work out, that you will never find happiness and worst of all never find that perfect person who completes them. Someday they will learn that this is not true. Reason being is that I have watched, read about, heard sorrowful tale of terrible relationships gone wrong that had started with such promise. The problem always seemed to be an absolute lack of communication, an unwillingness to admit their own faults and work on them as a couple. They refuse to work on what they broke, instead of using tape or glue to fix it, they walk away. Leaving shards of broken hearts and shattered relationships in their wake. That is not nor is it ever how relationships work. No one is perfect, but for every person there is a perfect match for them. I found mine and I will never let him go.
Yes, we have disagreements. No, we do not let them destroy us. We mend what we tear and we fix what we break. Every morning when I go to wake my husband, I ask him if there is anything I can do for him. He is not a morning person, but it is the least I can do for the man who works so hard for his family. He says I have the harder kob, being the mom who stays home with the kids and cooks, cleans, balances the bank and pays the bills. Though what I do may tire me, it may exhaust me, it is no where near as hard as his job, not to me. That is part of what makes us function so well though, in my opinion.
We value each other and the contributions we make. We treasure our time together, either as a family or as a couple. We love one another with the depths of our heart and soul, we see each others struggles and try to ease one another’s burdens however we possibly can. Whenever one of us asks the other for a favor, no matter how big or small, we do our best to do it because we want to ease the burden of one another. We know we struggle and hit rough patches, that little help we give one another helps in ways that people outside our relationship couldn’t understand. My battles are not fought alone, nor are his. We stand side by side, mentally, emotionally, and physically when we can.
That is what a relationship is truly about. It isn’t about what they can do for you but what you can do for one another. Help one another grow in ways you never would have fathomed alone. The power and compassion, the understanding and love, the unity that a real relationship that truly functions knows no bounds and are ever growing.
To those who have trouble with relationships, instead of solely blaming your partner, I want you to ask yourself a deep personal question. When was the last time you asked your significant other if there was anything you could do to help them start their day? When was the last time you asked if there was anything you could do to ease the burden of the days stressors for your loved one? If you can’t remember, then maybe they aren’t the problem. Maybe you have been selfish, taking their love but not returning it in kind. Even if it’s just letting them have a warm bath to relax, an hour to themself to read a chapter of a book, or even just taking out the trash or putting dishes away, no task is too large if it means salvaging a potentially perfect relationship. All relationships require give and take, just make sure that you’re not taking without ever giving back.