Things We Put Up With

Having been part of a bigger family than I am used to for the past several years, I’ve come to realize another reason why I despise people. The problem being that they don’t even realize that they are doing more damage than they are good. People seem to be under the impression just because you became family through marriage, you’re obligated to do things for others until you die. This is a wrong assumption. If you give and give until it destroys you, your children will learn to be doormats too. My children will not watch their mother wither and die due to the incompetence of others.

 

I have been told that my children require interaction with other children, but if that interaction results in them being rude, vulgar, or ill tempered, is it truly in the best interest of the child? If this interaction results in them doing things they know they shouldn’t, isn’t it doing more damage than it is good? I see no reason to tolerate the ill behaved children of my neighborhood just for my girls to pick up their bad manners. Why do people even think they have a right to tell me what is best for mine anyhow? Are they my childrens’ parents? Obviously not, if they’re my children.

 

As a mother, as a wife, as a daughter and daughter-in-law, I refuse to be pushed around by those around me into thinking that any one person has the right way to raise my children. There is no handbook for a reason, all children are different and have different needs in order to grow up into respectable human beings. Unlike most, my children will not grow up with technology in their hands. They will have books, pencils, colored pencils, crayons, and the likes. They will not grow up thinking their parents don’t love them or believing television is the answer to every tantrum, we will have time out, swattings, and lectures. They are my children, and I will parent them as I so see fit. 

 

I have cut people from my life for being toxic to me, be they friend or family. No one is immune to being pruned from my world. This might come off as frigid, but I will always work in the best interest of my children, even if that means stripping them of their toxic family members. One cannot expect of my family what they are unwilling to do themselves. A line of friendship goes both ways, be it friends in our area, friends in our family, or friends we meet at parks. Make an effort so there is effort to be returned.

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Spectacularly Amazing

It is only befitting that today’s prompt be “Captivating“, what with today being the 6th year anniversary of the day my husband and I first kissed and officially started dating. If it weren’t for that kiss, who knows where I may of ended up? Of course, I was too dreadfully shy so my husband was the one who initiated. A year after that though, he popped the question. It was unromantic, we had had a terrible day, we had gone to try doing something nice for our first year anniversary to find our bank account was in Non-Sufficient Funds territory. So off we went to the bank to find out, on our first year anniversary, what in the world went wrong. It turns out this was the culprit.

 

 

You see, my husband had gotten an engagement ring for me, well in advance, but they didn’t charge until well after he paid for it. Who knew they could charge you late? While we were sitting in the car, waiting to go in to find out what went wrong, he turned to me and said he wanted the day to have at least one shining moment. Right there, in the parking lot, in a dingy car, he proposed to me, full well knowing he was proposing to a crazy lady.

 

Not long after, we found out the most astounding news. We were pregnant! In order for the baby and I to receive care, we had to push forward the date of the wedding but we didn’t mind at all. We had already made up our minds, we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

 

Our love kept us captivated with eachother and still to this day I cannot think of a person more captivating than my husband. Thanks to our love, we have had the joy of two beautiful children brought into our lives.

To keep things happy and healthy, not only is this our 6th year anniversary together as a whole but this is the first year anniversary of having quit smoking! I found the snippet I wrote from last year and I can’t be more proud of us as a couple and a family.

 

As an added bonus in trying to be healthy and extending our longevity, after finding out I was overweight this past Christmas, I began tracking my weight and progress. So far, I’ve lost 17 lbs since Dec 19th! I added my weight loss tracker to the website for those interested in following along. I am trying to be more active within my blog, with the kids being homeschooled for the time being though and everyone getting sick and such, it’s been hard. I hope this post makes up for some of it though! Hope everyone has a happy Monday!

Baking Bonanza

So, I’ve come to terms with the fact that when I get super stressed out, I tend to turn to baking to quell my stress and mental agony. I’ve honestly been working on this post since last Thursday, when the baking bonanza truly peaked. 

 

A little reason as to why the baking bonanza was even necessary first, before I begin showing off my goodies that I baked with my heart and soul. My husband had to have a biopsy on a tumor that’d been found growing in his jaw. Now me being terrified of driving, as well as having kids, I couldn’t very well go with him. This only added to my stress and emotional frustrations. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that not only is he having cancer related stuff happening but his mom recently had a double mastectomy and the kids haven’t been able to see her in a while, which has resulted in them being doubly bad because they are protesting the lack of grandma and papaw time.

FreshDevilsFoodChocolateChipCupcakes

So all this stress, I’m sure your imagination can work out just how close I was to losing what was left of the tiny pinch of sanity I have. So here I am, losing my mind, my husband asks me if there is anything I need on his way home from work Wednesday night. My response was something akin to “Butter, chocolate chips, eggs, peanut butter, raisins, milk, and all purpose flour.” When I awoke the next morning, the bake-a-thon was on. It was the third baking bonanza since Thanksgiving, and I was in desperate need of it.

 

I managed to make a total of 63 Chocolate Chip cookies, 51 Peanut Butter cookies, and 38 Oatmeal Raisin cookies in my baking bash. My poor kitchen suffered for my baking tantrum. 

Mid-BakingBonanza

Mid Baking Bonanza

My normally nice and tidy kitchen was a wreck. You can see my over-sized cup of coffee fueling my every move, as well as my assortment of baking ingredients and implements. Though I didn’t stop at just baking, I also made the husband a special lunch since it would be the last thing he ate before his operation.

LemonPepperSalmonPatties

Lemon Pepper Salmon Patties!

He loves himself some salmon patties, so I decided to make it super special. Low and behold, I also forgot that he wouldn’t be coming home and eating dinner, so I also made pork chops for dinner that he would never end up getting the pleasure of eating.

PorkChopDinner

Pork Chops For Dinner!

It didn’t take long for my kitchen to go from complete chaos to my standard of usability though. Strangely, since I’ve become an adult, I’ve become increasingly psychotic about how my kitchen is kept.

AfterAllCookingIsDone

All Done Baking And Cooking!

But whatever happened to all the cookies? Since I was nearly baking till I dropped, I certainly wasn’t going to feed them to the kids and make them more chaotic than they normally are! So instead, I packed them up and sent them with the husband to work for his coworkers.

MyCookies

This One Stayed Home With Me!

It has been now 3 days since the operation and he still isn’t feeling that great, thankfully the doctor gave him Friday and Monday off from work. Here is to hoping tomorrow he feels able to go back to work. Hope you enjoyed looking at the fruits of my Baking Bonanza labors and sorry for the lack of content lately. I hope you understand.

Don’t Even Ask

Over the past few days I’ve gotten the same question phrased in different ways, which is really starting to get on my last nerve. Anyone who knows me knows I hate repeating myself, more to the point though, I hate when people passive-aggressively play putt-putt with what they truly mean. Mincing words with me is never wise. The question, which I’ve concluded to basically be an attempt at sincere concern, has instead caused me a migraine on top of the already migraine inducing situation I’m currently dealing with. What is the question? Well here it is.

Do you love your son more than your daughters?

Now, thanks to recent events, which are partly why I’ve in essence stopped updating here because I felt it was too sensitive to blog about because it’s left me feeling wounded and in tears for weeks, this question keeps popping up in different various forms. To which end I’ve replied with a flat “No.” but this doesn’t seem to dissuade others from asking again and again anyhow. Those who know me know I started this blog for the intent that my son might know I never stopped thinking of him, no one questioned why though. What reason do I have to start a blog so that he might know I never stopped thinking of him? The answer is clear. I have my two daughters I take care of and am in the process of homeschooling. I’ve attached our completed Week 1 of the 5 Week Homeschooling Project I started, which will be concluded at the end of this week.

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Does that mean I don’t love my son since I do my best to push the idea from my mind? No. I love my son, always have and always will. His birthday came and went, and my heart broke once more. I did my best to keep my composure, until I received a frantic call from my sons father. He claimed someone was trying to take my son, to which end I feigned interest because of all the other times he had tried to create drama in my life and ruin my holidays. Only difference this time? It turned out to be genuine. Now, as I write this, some other woman has my child. A woman who apparently barely knows my ex and knows nothing of the pain and suffering he inflicted on me. She married him and with having done so, she took off with my son to another state. 

 

My heart has been shattered upon finding all this out, but a glimmer of hope had appeared just as quickly as it caused my eyes to fill with tears. For the first time in 5 years, I knew where my son was. Seeing my son was completely dependant on him being “able” to meet up with me at a designated time at a specific location decided on by both parties. Yup, that’s what our agreement says. Up until now, I couldn’t do anything about it because I didn’t know where he was, and I had no evidence to prove that he couldn’t make it to the meetings we would set up only for him to cancel at the last minute.

 

After much deliberation though, much crying and sleepless nights wondering if my son was even okay, I requested a well child check to ensure he was physically unharmed. Considering I don’t know the woman nor she know me, I felt it was only appropriate I request such a thing. To the best of my knowledge, this woman doesn’t even know that I’ve been trying for years to see my son, only to be back-handed metaphorically again and again at every turn. Even as I am writing this, in the beginning scope of the morning before my daughters wake up, thinking on this brings me to tears. I found out not only does this woman not know me, but my own son has had it impressed to him that I don’t wish to see him. 

 

I have done all that I can within my power, as to the best of my knowledge as which been afforded to me by my state law department when I was calling around to find out what I could do, if anything. After so many years of being told, “Don’t worry, he will seek you out.” I think the time of waiting has come to pass. Now? Now is a time for action, before he is lost to me indefinitely, because if I don’t act, it will only prove what they keep telling him and I refuse to let it be said that I didn’t try when the opportunity presented itself. 

Delightful Bites

When I think of the word snack, I immediately think of my kids. I know, how cliche, right? A mom thinking of her kids when they hear words. It’s so passe. Tough, because that’s exactly what happened and I’m going to tell you a little bit about why!

 

So the past few days, I’ve been in a rut. My depression got the better of me and it made everything seem so drawl and drab, like nothing had any meaning. I’m sure so many others can relate to that feeling, so I’m going to share what I did to bring myself right back out of it! I had started reading into baking, first starting off small with pre-made cake mixes into cookies and such. They were awesome to the max.

Red Velvet White Chocolate Chip

My First Cookies!

 

Then I got the idea, this wild hair up my tuckas as I like to call it. I wanted to bake from scratch. So I dug. I searched. I read recipe after recipe. I finally stopped at a Betty Crocker Oatmeal Raisin cookie recipe. It was simple, to the point, quick and easy! Or so I had thought. I made my first batch and all were delighted, though I had tweaked the recipe a tad. As my husband was getting ready to go to work, I tweaked the recipe yet again. I fear I may have created a monster in my hunt for the perfect homemade cookie. I wanted something that would be a great snack, but that had some healthy parts to it. What I ended up with was a mountain of cookies that went what felt like a mile high.

 

Mama's Homemade Cookies

Look at those golden edges! Yum!

 

Now for the good part. The recipe! I jotted down as I cooked and mixed, so you’re lucky! 

 

1/2 C Sugar
1/4 C Brown Sugar
1/2 C Melted Butter
1/2 tsp Vanilla
1 Egg
4 Oz Warmed Peanut Butter

 

3/4 C Flour
1/2 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp Cinnamon
1/4 tsp Salt

 

1 1/2 Quaker Oats
1/2 C Raisins
1/4 C Chocolate Chips

 

Preheat Oven at 375 º

Everything is separated out per which steps get done first, then second, and finally last steps. When you start making it, mix the sugar, brown sugar, butter, vanilla, egg, and peanut butter together. Once you’ve got it nicely mixed it should have a creamy caramel colored look to it. That’s when you can add the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. It’ll become a thick caramel-like texture, like watching caramel drip deliciously onto a pan. At that moment, you know that it’s perfect and can finally mix in the oatmeal, raisins, and chocolate chips. I used a silicon spatula to fold the oatmeal, raisins and chocolate chips into the gooey delicious cookie dough. Once it’s nicely mixed together, then you can pop them into the oven! Parchment paper is definitely a must, or else you’ll end up wasting a lot of soap and water. I suggest getting an ice-cream shaped scoop that is actually called a “cookie-scoop”. They make perfectly sized cookies, every time! Give them 10-12 minutes in the oven and they should be ready! Here was my first batch!

 

First Batch!

They certainly smelled super delicious!

 

I let them chill in the refrigerator for a good ten minutes before putting them on the plate and moving on to the next set of ten. Happy baking and I hope you enjoy these delightful snacks!

Everything Explained!

So this morning was a fun little phenomenon. My husband woke me as usual around 6am, ready to head up stairs to go to sleep. You see, I have taken to sleeping on the couch because sleeping in my bed while my husband is away at work always makes me sad. Sad means I can’t sleep, so I crash on the couch watching something or other on Netflix. Well this morning when we went upstairs to lay down, I was feeling more awake than normal and started yammering on about how I had some strange dream. 

 

I decided to share with you the interaction as best as I can recall. 

 

I had a really weird dream before I woke up.

 

Why don’t you tell me about it lovie?

 

Well it is super strange. It started out that you and I went to meet some shaman woman who was supposed to send me off on some trial so that I could meet my spirit animal. She said I needed to go through the trial because there were bad guys trying to do stuff to endangered animals or something.

So yea, I go through this trial and I end up finding my spirit animal and it’s a squirrel named Freddy.

 

(laughing) That explains so much.

 

*swats him* Hush, I’m telling you about my weird dream! 

So anyway, once I’m finally done with the trial and Freddy and I are heading off to find the shaman woman, we meet an Elephant. His name was Charlie, and he said that the shaman woman had relocated because of the bad guys. Freddy didn’t want to go though because he wanted to look for his missing girlfriend, Sandy. 

 

(he is still laughing)

 

Anyway! So Charlie let us ride on his back since he knew where she was. After forever, we found her only to realize apparently Sandy was hidden in her hair. Freddy lost his lid when we got to her and chased Sandy up the shamans neck and back into her hair. 

 

(practically losing it) This explains everything. Just so much of everything.

 

*growling* Yea well when we got back together, we went to face off with the bad guys, but there were a bunch of people outside their headquarters! Good thing was that there was a duck pond area near the headquarters, because their headquarters was part of a zoo that had a bunch of exotic animals which was how they were getting their ill-gotten goods they were pilfering. Freddy and I hid behind a tree close to the office and started doing duck calls together to lure the ducks over so that they would distract the people. 

Suddenly I broke into song, singing and dancing and you were picking me up and throwing me in the air and I did mid-air twirls and stuff. It was cool. People were clapping and cheering as I sung about the wild animals and how they just wanted to be home, safe from harm. 

 

(sounding mildly interested) That actually does sound kind of cool, the singing while in the air thing.

 

Right? It was so cool. When everyone started wandering away, the bad guys showed up and I had Charlie stomp on them real good, squishing their guts everywhere. *in a chipper tone* Then we rode off into the sunset together on Charlie.

 

(laughing again) Oh great, I can’t ride into the sunset in a nice car, no I ride into the sunset on the back of an elephant. Thanks, Shay.

 

*shocked voice* What?! I thought it was awesome!

 

This dream just explains so much about you, my sweet wild energetic squirrel girl.

 

Oh shut up. *fake-hurt voice*

 

Not long after the exchange ended, the kids woke up and the day began. I thought it would be fun to share this weird little dream, maybe it’ll give you better insight into who I am too?

Brain Spasm!

When I got up today, I’d had high hopes for todays prompt. I snuck a peek at it when it came time for the prompt to post, but I was immediately dismayed! The daily prompt today is “adrift“, which for me is a nautical word. If you don’t know what nautical is, I feel bad for you. My deepest condolences. I digress though, I’ve nothing in my history past, present, or future, that has anything to do with things of a nautical nature. I don’t own a boat, I’ve never been on a boat, and to be quite frank, my fear of water probably will prevent me from ever being on a boat.

Yes, I am afraid of water. The very idea of being adrift at sea (I’ve had nightmares about that, so don’t laugh at me!) is terrifying! You could run out of food, fresh drinkable water that wouldn’t cause you to dehydrate, things to talk about! You could run out of intelligence, too. I fear that’s what has happened across most of the world, at least. Got lost at sea, just drifting along, all adrift like and such. That must be how they lost their ever lovin’ minds!

So instead of going on about how stupid people are these days, I decided to share some cuteness instead. Babies are adorable, so I made a couple photo montages using my beloved Google Photos application! May you find yourselves adrift in a sea of adorable. Enjoy.