Relationships

We are all products of our parents. We grow up around them, they’re our first love, our first cuddle, our first snuggle, our first person to make us smile and the first person to ever make us cry. They set the boundaries as well as the guide of how we then lead our lives as we become adults. They inform upon us as model clay, a blank slate. We are born little sponges, soaking up every instance that happens in our lives and the lives of those around us. As infants and children we idolize our parents and place them upon a pedestal. As teens we become angsty and try to formulate our own ideas of where we belong until we wise up in our adult years only to realize that we were total sods to the people who loved us the most.

 

It is our parents that inform our ideas of what relationships are meant to be. Due to this imprinting of ideology on how relationships ought to be, people often hesitate to leave situations that seem good on the outside but behind closed doors are truly a nightmarish hell. Some people are raised in houses that seem like the ideal white picket fence home with the adoring child(ren), loving husband, and swooning wife. Behind closed doors these relationships are at times strained, often enough to the point the child(ren) hear the backlash of an angry mother or father yelling at one another over something trivial or large. This gives young minds an unstable idea of what relationships are meant to be like. It leads to being in abusive relationships, or being an abusive lover.

 

Sometimes this imprinting can also lead to people thinking infidelity is okay. It isn’t. Marriage, no matter your religious standing, is intended to be done for love. If you cannot keep yourself to your bedchamber with your significant other, then marriage is not for you. I’ve seen countless families broken apart due to some form of infidelity, be it emotional, physical, or even just through the use of words. Yes, emotionally cheating is still cheating. If it is something you would hide from your significant other, then you most likely shouldn’t be doing it at all. When you love someone and you start a family with them, your children need to see that love you share between you and your significant other.

 

They need to see what love looks like, be it coming home and having a freshly made meal for them or rubbing their shoulders before or after a hard day at work. Even just passing moments where your eyes might catch, kiss one another without thinking about it. Let them see the passion you two have without getting vulgar about it. Play music and dance in the living room together for all I care, just make sure they see what love is like. Have them dance with you if they’re old enough, they’ll enjoy it and feel included as well as loved. We learn at a young age what love is like, if you do it right then there’s a good chance they’ll be able to show their children, your grandchildren, what love is like too.

 

If you have a disagreement, try not to hash it out in front of them. Especially if there is yelling to be involved. Small disagreements that can easily be resolved without raised voices is good for them to see because they will know that the world isn’t all sunshine and daisies, but it will also set an example of how to conduct a disagreement like people not barbarians. 

 

Whatever you do though, do not cheat. Do not lie to the person you love and expect them to forgive you. Cheating is unforgivable. I don’t care what world you’re from, cheating is never an acceptable answer to upset or outrage. It not only hurts the person you’re with, it hurts your family as a whole. It will bring down upon your family a misery that no individual should ever have to endure. 

 

People have asked me if I would divorce my husband if he cheated on me. I would do worse than that. Just as he would do worse to me if I ever had the gall to think it were okay to cheat on him. Cheating is never the answer. If you’re finding yourself unhappy, discuss it with them, don’t go looking for someone else to talk to about it. The moment you cross that threshold, you denounce any form of love you ever had for the person you’re with. It is a line you cannot come back from.

Just Too Much

As parents, we have moments that take our breath away and moments that make us so proud we nearly cry. Then there are those mind blowing moments that literally make you take a moment and stop, soaking in the dawning realization that your kids aren’t babies anymore. Today I had a couple of those moments and I decided I wanted to share this epic day with all of the world so that I could permanently forever remember it, while possibly giving everyone a great big smile and whooping good laugh! I promise I’ll do my best to remember every juicy detail of the day so you can get the full effect of what transpired.

 

To start off with, wonderful news on the potty training front! The girls have been doing so well that they only use one or two diapers / pull ups a day. That is including for nap time and bedtime. Sounds pretty freaking awesome, right? I’ve even got them wearing big girl panties! This is a major deal, considering only a month ago Celeste was still trying to figure out how her little bladder worked and how to time just right when she has to poop, instead of waiting until after she started pooping to let me know she had to go. Not any more though ladies and gentlemen, she is full on hard core potty training with the best of them and she isn’t even 3 years old yet!

To start off our day of awesome epicness, we had blueberry pancakes for breakfast with some strawberry limeade. Strange combination but it was what the girls wanted, being as they’d been good about getting up and coming downstairs, who was I to argue? Shortly afterwards, Marie had informed me that she direly needed to go potty. She was stills trapped in her high chair though! I rushed to her aid, whisking her away to the potty and sitting her down just in time. Suddenly there was a loud wet juicy sounding plop sound in the toilet as a big gooey poop flopped into the toilet. Glory me oh my, my eldest made a big slimy poop! Without being coerced! My joy knew no bounds as I jumped up and danced around, momentarily forgetting all about having to clean out the potty as well has her bottom.

 

As time progressed, the girls showed greatness with potty training, using it often and without mistakes. Only one mishap happened and it was because Celeste had to pee while Marie was going pee and couldn’t hold it. I don’t know if she has learned quite how holding ones pee works just yet. Nonetheless it wasn’t that big of a mess, nor that big of a deal. We got it cleaned up and squared away and she was happy as a clam from then on.

Come time for them to get up for nap time, Daddy had decided we were all going out for a quick lunch with him before he had to set off into the land of perpetual overtime and car building with many welding burns. It was up to me to pick our place of fine dining, though I was not allowed to pick Burger King which kind of destroyed my soul as I was craving dead cow thanks to my friend Caid talking about feeding baby cows. Our destination was made though regardless of my dismay, so off we headed to Taco Bell. 

 

When we pulled into the parking lot, Marie immediately started saying she needed to go potty, and urgently! I scrambled to unbuckle myself, lunging from the car as I opened the door and quickly unfastened the sweet little child so that we could then rush inside with a sense of urgency to the restroom. Sure enough she did have a need for the restroom, but not one that required a toilet! My poor Marie let rip a nasty sounding fart right there in the bathroom, which then led to her falling into a lapse of giggles and snorting, quickly followed by an excited, “I farted!” Isn’t she just hilarious? 

As we made our way back into the Taco Bell dining area, we saw that Dad man had picked a table off in the corner with a large window looking out at some trees that were finally growing some foliage. Just as we sat down, Celeste piped up, “I got to potty.” My first thought was that she just wanted to go because Marie had, but I humored her anyways. We waited until Daddy returned with drinks, then I unhooked Celeste from the booster and we went off to the restroom once more. 

 

Not even half a minute after getting her diaper off and setting her to squat on the potty, the resounding *Plop* *Plop* *Plop* sound filled the air, the water splashing as poop then Celeste giggling as the water splashed up and hit her square on the bum. This most definitely exceeded my expectation of our bathroom visit! She immediately perked up and beamed at me as she squealed with delight, “I went poo poo!” My sweet innocent diaper baby had made her first public restroom visit and it wasn’t just to pee, it was to do an epic wallop of a poop. We wiped her little tuckas and as we finished, she turned and pointed into the potty, jumping up and down with joy as she yelled, “That my poop!”

My goodness am I one proud mommy. My girls are getting so big, they are progressing so well. I cannot imagine where the time went though. It’s as if just yesterday she was just born, stuck in the NICU with tubes coming out of her. Due to this nostalgia, I have created some videos with my sweet babies and I want to share them with you! I hope they bring you as much joy as making them gave me.

 

 

When Did You?

Growing up I was a pretty bad kid, but then, most of us are. I didn’t treat my mom right, though many children didn’t. It took until I moved away to realize just how badly I had treated her. It took being in a foreign place I didn’t know to realize just how much she did for me. Worst of all, it took me until I had children to truly realize just how much she often sacrificed for us kids.

 

My mom was one of those amazing parents that always welcomed other kids into the house with open arms, so long as they were polite and respectful. She often had snacks for my sister and I, plenty enough that if there were other kids in the area who didn’t have an after school snack that we could share and not be hungry. She did her best with what she had, often playing with us even though she was exhausted from work. The love she had for us, I never really understood until I had my own.

 

Often I find myself tired or exhausted from cleaning all day and chasing the kids around, but even when I feel about to collapse, I still trudge on. Their smiles give me the energy I need to continue on. Their laughter gives me the extra push to keep me going. It amazes me how much the sound of their squeals of glee can give me the energy needed to chase them around the house just one more time, or how their playful running can give me the strength to pick them up in mid run to tickle assault their tiny tummies. 

 

In my opinion, it took far too long to realize just how much it was a inner struggle for my mom to work and still have time to play with us. Or how much energy it took to keep up with us, feed us good food, and always make sure we had clean clothing to wear to school. I find myself often too exhausted to do the laundry myself, so my husband usually drives into town and does it at the local laundry mat. Which then they sit in the baskets all nice and clean until the next weekend when we do it all over again. I never realized just how much of a job it really was, taking care of my girls, until I finally had them.

 

I can never say it often enough, or well enough, just how much I appreciate all that she did for me. Nor can I ever put it into words just how much my mom means to me. The best I can do is tell her every day that I’m alive that I love her.