Everything Explained!

So this morning was a fun little phenomenon. My husband woke me as usual around 6am, ready to head up stairs to go to sleep. You see, I have taken to sleeping on the couch because sleeping in my bed while my husband is away at work always makes me sad. Sad means I can’t sleep, so I crash on the couch watching something or other on Netflix. Well this morning when we went upstairs to lay down, I was feeling more awake than normal and started yammering on about how I had some strange dream. 

 

I decided to share with you the interaction as best as I can recall. 

 

I had a really weird dream before I woke up.

 

Why don’t you tell me about it lovie?

 

Well it is super strange. It started out that you and I went to meet some shaman woman who was supposed to send me off on some trial so that I could meet my spirit animal. She said I needed to go through the trial because there were bad guys trying to do stuff to endangered animals or something.

So yea, I go through this trial and I end up finding my spirit animal and it’s a squirrel named Freddy.

 

(laughing) That explains so much.

 

*swats him* Hush, I’m telling you about my weird dream! 

So anyway, once I’m finally done with the trial and Freddy and I are heading off to find the shaman woman, we meet an Elephant. His name was Charlie, and he said that the shaman woman had relocated because of the bad guys. Freddy didn’t want to go though because he wanted to look for his missing girlfriend, Sandy. 

 

(he is still laughing)

 

Anyway! So Charlie let us ride on his back since he knew where she was. After forever, we found her only to realize apparently Sandy was hidden in her hair. Freddy lost his lid when we got to her and chased Sandy up the shamans neck and back into her hair. 

 

(practically losing it) This explains everything. Just so much of everything.

 

*growling* Yea well when we got back together, we went to face off with the bad guys, but there were a bunch of people outside their headquarters! Good thing was that there was a duck pond area near the headquarters, because their headquarters was part of a zoo that had a bunch of exotic animals which was how they were getting their ill-gotten goods they were pilfering. Freddy and I hid behind a tree close to the office and started doing duck calls together to lure the ducks over so that they would distract the people. 

Suddenly I broke into song, singing and dancing and you were picking me up and throwing me in the air and I did mid-air twirls and stuff. It was cool. People were clapping and cheering as I sung about the wild animals and how they just wanted to be home, safe from harm. 

 

(sounding mildly interested) That actually does sound kind of cool, the singing while in the air thing.

 

Right? It was so cool. When everyone started wandering away, the bad guys showed up and I had Charlie stomp on them real good, squishing their guts everywhere. *in a chipper tone* Then we rode off into the sunset together on Charlie.

 

(laughing again) Oh great, I can’t ride into the sunset in a nice car, no I ride into the sunset on the back of an elephant. Thanks, Shay.

 

*shocked voice* What?! I thought it was awesome!

 

This dream just explains so much about you, my sweet wild energetic squirrel girl.

 

Oh shut up. *fake-hurt voice*

 

Not long after the exchange ended, the kids woke up and the day began. I thought it would be fun to share this weird little dream, maybe it’ll give you better insight into who I am too?

Christmas Wishes

For a long time, all I wanted was to see my mom. The last time I saw her was the morning of January 28th, 2009. I remember it so clearly because it was the last time I saw her face as I walked out the door that fateful day, headed to the bus station which would inevitably take me to the airport. When I landed that night, it was blustery and blizzardy, snow falling all over the place. There I stood, on the sidewalk of the airport, twirling in the flurry of snow that filled the skies. I had started a new chapter of my life. 

 

In December I have birth to my first child, but had little to no contact with the woman I had parted from nearly a year prior. Honestly I think I may have called her a hand full of times between when I landed and when my son was born. It hadn’t yet dawned on me how much I missed her. Time went on, life became busy. I got job after job, moved from place to place. It wasn’t until I had my own two little girls that I began really noticing how the departure was impacting me. At first I thought that my depression was just coming back and with a vengeance, but it turned out to be something so much more.

 

I finally started picking up my phone and calling my mom every day shortly after she had a major scare in her life. I know it should have dawned on me sooner to do this, but with having two little ones I didn’t have much time for even myself, let alone a call to my mom. Low and behold, I rearranged my schedule so that I could make time. They always say that for the things most important in life, you have to make time. They’re right. I used to think that it was merely hyperbole, but there is truth in it. The fear of losing my mom made me realize something important that my uncle recently said to me.

 

Don’t hold off on something that can be done today. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so do what you can and do it now.

 

So I took the plunge. I finally get to have the one Christmas present I want, and have wanted, for some while now. For the first time in nearly 8 years, I get to see my mommy! She will be flying out here for a few days during my husband’s Christmas vacation, courtesy of his amazing job.

 

So many helped me through it, the stress and frustration. I wanted to say thank you for everything, it meant the world to me that so many wanted to help ease the burden. I am so blessed to have the family and friends I have. 

 

I cannot wait to see my mom this Christmas, it really is the most perfect gift I could have asked for.

Little By Little

The core dreams and aspirations of people long ago are now considered ancient. Little by little the values once held dearly are whittled away into nothingness. The thoughts that were shared that created our nation, the goals that were shared between hundreds is now scattered to the wind. I would like to be able to say that presidential campaigns were once a thing of glory, but anyone who truly knows history knows this to be false. It may not have been such a money pit as it is today, but it was in no way shape or form “glorious”, as I often have dreamt of it being.

 

There were dreams of equality, a brother helping a brother and a sister helping a sister. A chance to truly create a place of family, togetherness, the unifying factor being the flag under which we pledge our allegiance. Instead, we have feminists, we have neo-nazi’s, gang bangers, mysogyny, misandry, we have people calling for the death of those who pledge to protect our very lives. Families are torn apart and shattered, broken beyond repair as we wage wars we have no business starting or joining. People claim we have equality, that it rings from the highest of mountaintops, but we don’t have equality. We barely have any freedoms to this very day.

 

There was once an aspiration for many nations to be able to settle down, get married and create a family. Have a career or build it from the ground up, in a nation where such things were once possible. Now if you have a company here, you’re taxed to the point you have two options, make sure what you’re selling is darn good or fudge your paperwork with a side job somehow. In order to employ American’s, you have to practically charge a fortune for your products, because taxes. These days families have two working parents and children off in daycare just to make ends meet, because taxes and the cost of living are far too high for those of meager income to survive.

 

We once fought against oppressionist regimes, refused to bow down to taxation without representation, we fought vigilantly and valiantly. Those are the ancient days though, but I hope that as with all things, we will one day again see little by little the ways of old return. I’ve heard often that history repeats itself, in this case, I sincerely hope it does. How we lost the burning fire within us, the desire to fight for what is right… I doubt I’ll ever know.